Dating for men: 5 practical dating tips you can use tonight
Let’s face it: most of us guys aren’t properly taught dating skills, especially if you’re from a ‘shy’ culture (opposed to more outgoing cultures like those with Latin influences).
In order to get women, we act like Mr. Nice Guy while envying the ‘bad boys’ women fall for all the time.
And that’s the scale we use: nice guy–bad boy, without realizing that a real man is one who both takes the lead (like a bad boy) and builds an intimate connection with her (like a nice guy). In finding this balance lies the opportunity to become a real, authentic man who is irresistible to (his type of) women.
So if you’d ask me for one tip, just one piece of advice on dating, I’d say:
In order to stop women crying out “Where are the real men?” we should strive to become real, authentic men.
But that’s a huge topic. If you’d tell me “Dude shut up, I just want some practical tips I can use now”, I’d understand and come up with five tips. Five tips that—I believe—you can use now. Right now.
Five tips distilled from my own experience and that of the best natural seducers in the world. Natural, yes, because these tips are not ‘techniques’ or ‘tricks’, they won’t make you fake, no, they will enable you to be a better version of yourself and train the Casanova instinct we all have. And that’s what all women deserve and want, to be seduced!
1. Go out and do it!
This might sound obvious, but it’s still the single most overlooked and most important factor in meeting girls. Your perfect girl won’t just show up on your doorstep.
In the end, it’s a game of chance: if you don’t meet many girls, the chance you meet girls you like is low. It’s not sleazy to approach a lot of girls, it’s a necessity.
Think about it like this: if you never find a woman you truly love, you miss out on a great experience. I’m not saying that we need women to be happy, but if you do find that amazing girl, your life will be much better. Oh—and she wouldn’t mind if you have some experience!
So go out and don’t hesitate to put the tips below into practice! (Even if you don’t use them, still go out! For more on this, read Thomas’s article on good habits to build .)
2. Peak her interest
This is a very powerful concept. Basically you can approach every girl you like—which is a good idea—but to make it more fun and easier for yourself you can peak her interest before meeting her. Many real-life Casanova’s have come up with this idea individually.
One of the world’s top seducers has this to say about it:
“To show just how important this is, keep this in mind: with more than 80 percent of the women I’ve talked to in the past three years, the initial conversation has been a result of this technique!”
Richard La Ruina – The Natural [p.61]
The basic idea is to just make eye contact with her and then let her know—in some way—that you’re interested. “But how, oh great oracle,” you ask? It’s not that hard, here are some suggestions:
When you make eye contact with her, you can:
- Poke your tongue out
- Do the “live long and prosper” sign with your hand
- Do peek-a-boo
- Wave your hand
- Eyy like The Fonz
If she doesn’t respond overtly positive don’t use that as an excuse not to approach (she might just be having a shit day) but if she gives a positive response, you can be sure she’s interested. Then you can just go over to her and say anything (“hey” is a great first line), knowing that she’s interested and will react positively.
You can use this idea of sparking her interest before you meet her anywhere, even on the street! Start using it today and hone your skills over time. You’ll see that your ‘Casanova instinct’ automatically develops, however dormant it may be.
3. Future projection
This one is a lot of fun. Basically this means talking about hypothetical stuff to do together in the future. This is so powerful because:
- It becomes real easy to talk about fun things as you can exploit your entire imagination
- You’ll soon have an ‘in-joke feeling’ as you’ve created your own ‘bubble’
- It becomes much easier to plan a date
- It’s a lot of fun!
The key here is to talk about things in the future that you can do together. That’s it! For example:
- I booked a trip to mars, are you joining?
You get the idea: basically you can connect any topic to some activity in the future, making it as absurd as you want. (I kept it to one example so you’ll be more inclined to come up with new stuff.)
Note: don’t worry about her thinking you’ll marry her the next day, even if you’re saying “when we get married, I’ll buy you a pink dog”. Girls have humor too, she knows it’s just fun banter!
So you’ve talked about future things to do together and now you’ve got her number, maybe even kissed her or she’s giving birth to your first child as we speak. In any but the latter case, it can be hard to get a nice text conversation going; what are you going to talk about? Well, now you have an endless amount of fun stuff to talk about!
”So, when are we going to book that spaceflight?”
4. Touch her
We’re animals. Beasts, I tell you! How much fun is it to play around with a woman, while she’s laughing and screaming and you’re tickling her curvy body all over? We’re made to be touched!
I’m not saying that you should immediately be all over a girl when you first meet her in a bar, that’s not a good idea (at least not right away). No, you should let her feel your delicate touch. She’s very sensitive and will register even the slightest touch of your finger tip.
- Touching the small of her back and tickling/caressing it
- Softly touching her side
- Playing with her hand while it’s next to her body
While doing this, you can talk real slow ‘n’ sexy with seductive eye contact, but (especially if talking sexy is just too much for her at the moment) you can also talk about the most boring stuff there is—what matters is your touch and she will register that no matter what.
So you can even caress the small of her back while she’s talking to her friends—they won’t even notice and she won’t become uncomfortable but will still feel those butterflies in her stomach.
5. Triangular gazing
When we talk to strangers we tend to look from eye to eye. With friends, we look at their mouth too, resulting in a kind of triangular pattern: left eye–right eye–mouth–left eye–right eye–mouth and so on.
Seductive eye contact is a major turn-on for girls. And if you master seductive eye contact, you’ll know exactly when to go in for the kiss: when those big eyes meet yours and stay there for just that little bit longer. You go in for the kiss and when her moist, soft lips meet yours you both dissolve in each other’s eyes, lips, warmth, whispers, smell… (yes, I am practising for a romance novella)
These are the five most practical tips I can give any guy, and they’re not just from my own experience but from that of the world’s best seducers as well, so they’re battle-proven. I hope this is useful to you, have fun!