Speaking to girls – How to avoid being like every other guy

by | Dating

It’s important to avoid boring conversation when speaking to girls.

Being boring is equal to no interest, no attraction, no phone number, no going home together and no date.

Girls will forget you as soon as they stop talking to you because you’re just like all the other guys.

If you want to attract more beautiful women, you have to create interesting conversations.

This means stimulating their emotions. It’s that simple.

Do you know when an interaction is interesting for a woman?

Well, it’s not talking like this the whole time:

  • You: Hey, where are you from?
  • Her: I’m from Hungary and you?
  • You: I’m from Netherlands. Why are you in the Netherlands?
  • Her: I came here to study.
  • You: What do you study?
  • Her: I study Psychology. Do you also study?
  • You: Yes I study Economics. Do you have any hobbies?
  • Her: Yeah I draw.
  • You: Ah that’s cool. I like that. Do you come here often?
  • Her: Uhh… I have to go to my friends.

You can, of course, ask questions about things when you’re interested in them. The problem for a lot of guys is that their whole conversation is like the one above.

She can have this type of conversation with nearly anybody. It doesn’t challenge her at all because it’s dull and lacks excitement.

It’s fucking boring.

One thing you should avoid when speaking to girls

To become more engaging, it’s essential that you quit playing it safe. This is the nr. 1 reason why guys are uninteresting when talking to women.

When you play it safe, it’s easy to fall into the boring trap. You ‘re attracted to this beautiful girl, so you don’t want to fuck it up.

This will translate into not doing anything that might upset her. You don’t want to ruffle any feathers by doing something different, challenging or crazy.

This is a problem because a boring interaction equals no attraction from a girl. You don’t stand out from the 10 other guys she has talked with this weekend.

The solution is that you have to get into the mindset of fucking with what she expects. Doing this creates emotional spikes in the interaction.

Girls love emotionally engaging interactions. If you fuck with what she expects, your interactions will instantly be more compelling.

You do it for yourself

Before I give you examples of this concept, it’s important to realize where your focus should be. It should be on making the interaction enjoyable for yourself.

Fucking with what a girl expects makes it more fun for you. So you don’t do this to get a girl to like you or to get something from her. 

When you come from this place, there are two benefits of fucking with what she expects. It shows you’re comfortable and that you don’t care what she thinks.

Here are a few examples to illustrate the concept.

When she asks what you do

– Don’t give her a direct answer and remain mysterious. Just say: “I have a lot fun and have crazy adventures every day. Do you also have crazy adventures?”

– Down play what you do to the extreme. You can say: “I sit on the couch, eat Doritos and watch Cartoon Network. Amazing life!” (Make it obvious you’re exaggerating!)

– Tell her you’re a hand model, unicorn trainer, male dancer, super hero or whatever absurds you can come up with. Then include her in the joke.

When she asks where you’re from

– Say you’re from a nice place and make her guess it. Give her a few hints if she struggles. Then guess where she’s from.

– Say something outrageous that can’t possibly be true. If you have white skin, you can say: “I’m from Cameroon, can’t you tell by my skin colour?”

– Tell her you’re from a magical place and ask if she believes in magic.

To be clear, it’s all about what you think is funny. Try the above examples if you resonate with them, but think of your own when that’s not the case.

Also be aware that too much of a good thing is bad. If you keep making funny jokes, it will put most girls off.

Try to find a good mix between genuine conversation and fucking with what she expects.

Both are vital for an interesting interaction!

A dangerous myth that guys believe in

If you want to improve your interactions with women, there’s one important thing you should realize.

It’s the secret to automatically creating compelling interactions when speaking to girls. It will make it happen by itself every time you talk to a cute girl.

To master the art of creating compelling interactions, you’ll have to not care what a girl thinks of you.

That means you have to work on your core confidence. It’s all about digging deeper to get to the root of certain inner problems.

It starts with realizing that no girl will ever make you happy. That’s your own job and it shouldn’t be dependent on having a cute girl validating you.

A lot of guys think they’ll be happy when they find a cute girl who likes them back. It’s a common belief, but it’s not true.

To be honest, this is one of the many beliefs that can hold you back in becoming better with women. There are many more that are vital to remove from your belief system.

If you want to know more about these dangerous beliefs, check out our free dating e-book below. In this 20 page ebook, we teach you the 5 most dangerous myths that guys believe in.

We also give 5 core concepts that do work to meet more beautiful girls. These concepts give you the right perspective on what it takes to improve your dating life.

You can download our free ebook below.

Thomas Murray


Thomas is the co-founder of DateGrowth and he creates content about dating, health and personal effectiveness. In his content he likes to combine psychology and spirituality. He is a digital nomad, morning meditator, green tea addict and an internet entrepreneur. His main goal is to provide you with personal development advice that actually works.

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